What do we make of the abortion issue? This is one topic you
better stay away from at that cocktail party.
Is one side right and one side wrong, really? If so, which
side is right? It depends on many factors; how it is perceived by an individual:
including but not limited to their faith, beliefs, cultural conditioning,
experiences, role model’s views, politicians’ arguments, party affiliations, etc.
etc. These all have play into an individual’s response to this subject.
Neither side is trying to be divisive, authoritarian,
judgmental, or elitist. Individuals, if we really care to dig deeply, are
thinking and deciding out of an abundance of care.
Each side has explored an issue that is quite unsavory, an
action that is irreversible with unknowns as to how a woman, or the potential
father, will look back and feel about it.
When I was a young mother in my 20s, a friend asked me to
drive her to an abortion clinic to get an abortion. She already had three
children and found herself pregnant. As I sat in the waiting room, the
atmosphere felt thick with tension, with women sitting around staring into
space, some softly crying, most very quiet. A sweet looking young girl, maybe
16, sat beside me. She seemed confused. She kept glancing sideways looks at me.
Finally, she spoke.
“I’m scared,” she said turning directly to me, her face
pinching up. “I’m not sure this is right thing to do. How do I know if this is
what I should do?”
Then the tears she'd been trying to hold back came in a
downpour, wetting her reddening face. She was alone. I couldn’t imagine how
frightening this must be for her. I feebly told her they would take her in first
to talk to a counselor, pointing to a door down the hallway, who will help make
sure she had all the information to make a good decision. They will help her, I
said. I didn’t really know what else to say to her. I felt totally inadequate
to counsel this young, distraught girl.
I, myself, didn’t have a strong leaning for or against abortion
rights. I just know I found the topic dreadful.
A few years later, with a little more maturity in me, and
more medical and spiritual knowledge under my belt, I had a liberal attitude
toward abortion ‘rights’. It was 1981. Sandra Day O’Connor was just sworn in as
an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. I wrote her a long letter explaining
my view on the abortion issue. I was for the government staying out of the
decision making. Not making it a right or a wrong, but a decision between the
physician and the woman.
That’s one thing I've never quite understood; why or how the
government became a party to making this difficult decision for a woman. How
does a governing body mandate a healthcare decision? An extremely personal,
even heart-wrenching decision?
So, I watch the sides once again bringing this to the fore,
adhering to their playbooks. One side telling us the opposing side is trying to
take women’s freedom away, one side telling us the other side doesn’t care
about these tiny human beings.
But in the nut of it, at the core of it, it is all out of
love.
There are those who want to make sure a woman is able to do
what she thinks is right for herself and her own life. Their mantra is,
"Those against abortion want to take your choice away and control your
bodies. We want to protect a woman's freedom." They care about these
women. They don’t want them to suffer. It is out of love.
There are those who want to protect the innocent. Those
beings not yet born. They value and hold these lives as every bit as important
as you and I, with all the rights we have. Their mantra is, "Those for
abortion want to kill babies. And many of them are the poor and uneducated.
They don't offer better solutions."
But this too, is out of love.
Yet this stops any communication and problem solving in its
tracks.
It is more important now that we work harder on creating a
society that has reduced unwanted pregnancies to the lowest number possible.
That we don't give our young girls the idea that casual sex is fine, and no
worries if you get pregnant because it's an easy fix.
Do we really know how that will affect a woman or a young
girl down the road? I've had friends who
seemed to manage fine post-aborting, and others who experienced a gnawing
regret. I'll never forget one woman who had an abortion when she was young and
single; then years later, after marriage, she found out she couldn't conceive
again.
Neither side is evil. They care very much. Let's be more
grown up about this and admit there is a lot of pain experienced around this
topic and the procedure. How about working together to reduce the need?
This is serious stuff. Which is why, I think, people get so
emotional on both sides. It isn't a frivolous topic. Some see it as a freedom
issue, and some see it as a life and death issue.
Can we open our minds and hearts to understand both sides?
Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash
