In 2003 I wrote a column for the local paper about the
growing lack of civility in politics and news media. Here we are 15 years later
and culturally we are angrier, ruder, more quarrelsome, more anxious and
stressed, and have a new outlet for nasty discourse: social media.
Technology has played a role in this. We can't get a break
from news, rumors, crises, and notifications of tweets, 'likes', emails, texts,
private messages, and Facebook telling us our fans haven't heard from us in a
while!! Vivek Wadhwa, distinguished fellow at Harvard and Carnegie Mellon, just
released a book, Your Happiness Was
Hacked: Why Tech is Winning the
Battle to Control Your Brain—and How to Fight Back. In an interview he said
the tech industry knows full well how they got us hooked on answering those
texts, worrying about likes, and responding to those little red bubbles on our
phones. It throws us off balance, reducing our chances of having a sense of
wellbeing and increasing the chance of irritation or feeling overwhelmed.
With the state of the world and politics in this modern life
many of us are getting angrier and angrier. Let's look at this. Anger is a
natural human emotion. It is neither right nor wrong. On a scale of emotions
from negative to positive its near the bottom, but above apathy, hatred, fear
and unworthiness. Certainly, fear plays a significant role in anger. Inherent
in anger is a fearful feeling of powerlessness or a lack of control. If we had
control, we would change what was making us angry!
We grew up in cultures where it was discouraged to show
anger, as if anger is not allowed. Of course, if it is denied—doesn't get
relieved—it's harbored within, expressing itself in destructive ways and
eventually affecting our health. On top of that, many of us weren’t taught how
to cope with strong emotions. Undigested
anger comes out in so many ways.
A few:
Sarcasm
Character assassination
Self-destructive behavior
Extreme judgmental behavior
Trolling (make a deliberately offensive or provocative
online post with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response
from them.)
Revenge
Violence
Physical symptoms: constricted muscles, poor digestion,
inflammation, tendency for skin rashes, or heart disease to name a few.
While we're angry, solutions are blocked, visions of higher
possibilities vanish.
In its best function, anger is useful to move us through a
bad situation. It can give us the energy
we need to make a needed change in our lives, to right wrongs, to stop others
from doing something harmful, and to transition ourselves from lethargy to
taking an active role in our lives, moving us to a higher state of being. Anger
does make us feel more powerful temporarily. When it becomes destructive is
when we don't have an outlet, don't take any action, and have not learned
methods of moving through the anger to a better feeling place.
We could be on the edge of a spilling over of anger that we
haven't seen since the 1960s, when people took to the streets to protest, even
riot with the extreme anger over everything going on at that time.
What do we do when our irritation, anger, or frustration
rises up? Understanding what is going on in your brain first can prepare you.
Our higher brain functions are used logically and calmly, but when we get
afraid, threatened, or angered, our reptilian brain—the primitive part that is
designed for survival—gets engaged, high-jacking these higher functions. The
fight or flight response takes over, instincts that prepare us to run or fight.
What can we do? I hear people talk about feeling so helpless
as they learn about the atrocities going on in the world. The injustices, the
suffering, the political vitriol, the violence, terrorism, the
wars and battles going on day in and day out. When we lived in small farming
communities we weren't exposed to daily and hourly news of horrific things.
The best way to deal with all this? I have a few ideas to
help you re-frame the suffering going on living on planet earth and help you cope to regain some balance.
·
As always, first take care of yourself. If you
are going to be of any help to anyone, you must build strength within.
o
Get a good night's sleep. Turn off the TV by
9:00. Read uplifting literature, articles, scripture or spiritual texts.
o
Spend some quiet time every day in prayer,
meditation, or walking in nature.
o
Treat yourself to a massage regularly or/and
give yourself a massage with scented oils before you shower.
o
Eat light, lots of natural vegetables, legumes,
fruit, seeds, nuts, & limit your animal protein.
o
Journal. When your mind is stuck on judgements
or the negatives around you, grab a pen and paper or get on your device and
write all your thoughts down. Its a download of all the garbage you need to get
out of your head. This is especially helpful before you go to sleep.
o
When you are feeling down, angry, or sad, these
feelings are held within your body. If you just try to think happy thoughts and
repress them, they will continue to rise up until you deal with them. They want
acknowledgment! They are valid and your truth. Sit with them and allow them
their existence. Sense where you feel them within. Your heart, chest, stomach,
neck? Embrace them with your attention. It may take several times, but you will
notice the tightness, the constriction, the pressure or pain begin to ease and
disperse once you've given them permission to be.
·
One of the reasons we feel helpless is because
we feel like there isn't anything we can do. Do some small thing every day to
make someone's mood better, or write your politicians, give to a charity,
volunteer, make a phone call to someone who is lonely, visit someone who is in
the hospital, teach a child, teach a class, or write your ideas and solutions down for others are just a few anyone can do!
·
As you bring yourself into alignment with your
higher self, as your consciousness is raised, you will notice you are developing
a deeper understanding of others actions. You will start to see everyone is
doing the best they can from where they are at the moment. This will help
toward lessening your automatic response to the news with anger or fear. You
will understand the causes.
·
You will see this world is wonderful and
beautiful even with the suffering that is always going on. The world has always
been this way. As we grow and evolve we can impact the world by just being who
we are. And as we evolve, the more impact we will have on the whole, each and
every one of us.
