Sunday, October 21, 2018

On Our Rush to Condemn


What is behind our rush to condemn, criticize and hate others whose opinions run counter to our own? The answer is multiple, because there is a different answer on different levels. Here is a few:
  • ·         There's the ancestral/anthropological answer; how we've evolved to distrust others who aren't like us because other groups of primitive humans represented risk of harm, competition for survival, and the risk losing of clan members. The reptilian, primitive part of the brain is triggered.
  • ·         Psychological answer: We dislike change, our tribe throws out fearful scenarios of what would happen if the other tribe had power over us. Fear of losing power.
  • ·         Spiritual answer: We are triggered by the ego always fearing extinction; i.e. we must keep control, must eradicate everything we don't like, we must be vigilant and distrusting. Spiritually our task is to connect to the deeper part of ourselves, beneath the ego ramblings, that still, peaceful presence. This connection will guide us to improve whatever it is we focus on justly and lovingly.
  • ·         Evolving consciousness. The world holds a wide spectrum of levels of consciousness, from fear and survival to the enlightened. Through ideas such as Integral Theory by Ken Wilber and a Map of Levels of Consciousness by Dr. David Hawkins, we can measure on a scale where different ideas and thoughts fall. We can see the leading edge of consciousness in certain groups, and where the bulk of world view is in the population.  What is 'correct' and 'right' changes with each evolving level of consciousness.
  • ·         We're frightened of finding out how small we are. What really scares us underneath is vulnerability. We see that as the most emotionally dangerous thing.  It is why don't we want to watch others who express different views than our own on that 'other' channel.
  • ·         We fear we could be wrong. We don't want to admit there is a part of ourselves that believes what the 'other' side expresses, but we suppress it. So, instead of ferreting out that part of ourselves and examining it, we lambaste others who express it.  This is called projection.


Why don't we round out our knowledge of everything by hearing and learning about other views?

A sign of high intelligence is a heightened sense of curiosity and wonder. We are all born with it. Children go through asking why, why, why. But we get so entrenched in our bubbles, our learned thought ruts, what we are supposed to think and feel from our aligned 'group', that we lose that curiosity. We dive into the beat and condemn along with the rest repeating the memes we hear on 'our' viewpoints and 'our' channels that tell the story one way.

Let's stop for a minute and allow me to walk through the last 50 years of news and entertainment, because I think it is integral.  When I was a young child 60 years ago, TV was in its infancy. I remember our first television. Three channels, black and white, signed off each night with the National Anthem. It was easy for the stations to sell advertising; everyone wanted to watch what was on and we had three choices! As the years went by the competition grew, the number of channels grew, and it became harder to capture the audience the networks once did, so the shows got bawdier, more rough action, more sexual insinuation, always finding the new edge to grab eyeballs. Even cartoons showed more and more violence, guns, fights, pies in the face until today many are rude, disrespectful, and sarcastic—and this is supposed to be 'cool'.  Even some music now is violent, the constant news is soul crushing; kid's movies are graphic blood and guts; it is no wonder our discourse in politics is so hateful. If some alien visited Earth and watched any local channel on TV during an election, she would think each candidate was a crook, corrupt, dishonest, evil, and untrustworthy. My point is, this incivility has been growing for a long time. The entertainment and media industries continue to expand what is considered acceptable behavior.

This is interesting; upon going to any gathering in most small towns people are still kind and respectful to each other. It is as if when a camera or microphone is put in front of others, suddenly there are no limits to behavior.

I have lived in two worlds politically most of my life. In the business world, and the world of financial markets, most people I've worked with are conservative. In my personal life, with my interest in spiritual studies, meditation and world religions, most of the people I've met along this path are liberal. Moving back and forth is jolting at times. Hearing the terms my friends from one camp use to describe the other camp is more than disheartening. But I do understand these things are said without any real deep thought. They are knee-jerk reactions learned by the media and repeated as elections heat up to drive people's fear of the 'other' side's success.

We need to listen to each other, plain and simple. The more we really hear one another the more understanding can flourish, and with understanding a new respect will grow. I just listened to an author on the radio who, for her research on the controversy of abortion, interviewed women who believed abortion to be wrong. She, being on the liberal side of this argument, was surprised to discover how much she liked many of these women and could easily be friends with them.  From my perspective this is sad, because she must not have friends with different viewpoints from her own.  

So, there are many reasons for this climate of distrust and venom toward groups of people. But there is only one reason why we should, each one of us, correct this trajectory we're on. Love. We really underneath love everyone. You know this is true.


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