Who is a Victim?

We have recognized all these groups in our society as victims: LGBQ, women, Muslims, people of color, Latinos, immigrants, Jews, disabled, etc. etc. etc. The only group left out is men.

Men—who have contributed enormously to the good of humanity in every area, have been maligned and ridiculed in the media, TV shows, and stories in the last few decades.

 

You cannot lift one group while bashing another group.

 

It doesn’t work that way.

 

There are consequences.

 

Oh My The News

 

Last week was a consequential week in the United States. I’ve heard from many who are suffering trying to come to grips with news of the election results. Of course, I also recognize that many are satisfied with the news. How do we live with this result? What if we are worried about the future?

    I was considering this and what advice I could give to my subscribers when, what sometimes synchronistically happens, an email appeared in my inbox from David Michie on this very topic. When what is going through our heads is causing suffering, it is usually something in the future or the past. It hasn’t happened, or it did a while ago. It isn’t happening at the moment. Receiving bad news usually involves worrying about the future and imagining all the worst of our fears.

    David Michie is a follower of Buddhist philosophy and has written many best sellers, like the Dalai Lama’s Cat, aimed at entertaining, teaching, and reducing suffering. He’s done a magnificent job. Many Buddhists will tell you that Buddhism is not a religion but a collection of practices and a philosophy designed to lessen suffering in the world and bring about our fully actualized selves—enlightened if you will.

    In this latest blog, David discusses Disappointment and four Buddhist insights to help us navigate it. You can read the whole article.

    Here are some of the best points:

“Where does disappointment exist: outside us or in our minds? Clearly, it is a psychological thing. We don’t accidentally inhale clouds of disappointment walking down the street. It’s in here, not out there.”

“This moment, here and now, is often unaffected. Our hours, days or weeks are much the same as they were before we got the news. We still do the same things, live the same life. But because of particular news we see the future more darkly.”

    And an oft quoted folk tale that I happen to love.:

“ An old man loses his horse to the wild. Horses are a measure of wealth and when his fellow villagers come around wailing and commiserating, he just says stoically, ‘We’ll see.’

Days later his horse returns – along with a few wild horse friends he picked up along the way. The man is now richer by several horses! The villagers come round delighted for him – if somewhat envious. He just says, ‘We’ll see.’

Attempting to ride one of the wild horses, his son is thrown off and breaks his leg. It is harvest time and everyone is needed to help in the fields. The villagers wring their hands, despondently. ‘We’ll see,’ the old man tells them.

The imperial army comes around recruiting able-bodied young men. Unlike other young men, his son is exempt from dangerous battle.

And so it goes.”

    And

“Rather than entertaining thoughts about what may or may not happen in the future, how about letting go of them? Returning our focus to the here and now – i.e. the same place before we opened the faucet of speculative misery to full bore. There is nothing to be gained by tormenting ourselves with futile, negative cognition, or by opening ourselves up to the media and others who have no interest in our mental wellbeing. We have agency. We are in charge. Let’s remain calmly in the present moment, and practice equanimity: we’ll see.”

Photo by Charles Deluvia on Unsplash