Who is a Victim?

We have recognized all these groups in our society as victims: LGBQ, women, Muslims, people of color, Latinos, immigrants, Jews, disabled, etc. etc. etc. The only group left out is men.

Men—who have contributed enormously to the good of humanity in every area, have been maligned and ridiculed in the media, TV shows, and stories in the last few decades.

 

You cannot lift one group while bashing another group.

 

It doesn’t work that way.

 

There are consequences.

 

Oh My The News

 

Last week was a consequential week in the United States. I’ve heard from many who are suffering trying to come to grips with news of the election results. Of course, I also recognize that many are satisfied with the news. How do we live with this result? What if we are worried about the future?

    I was considering this and what advice I could give to my subscribers when, what sometimes synchronistically happens, an email appeared in my inbox from David Michie on this very topic. When what is going through our heads is causing suffering, it is usually something in the future or the past. It hasn’t happened, or it did a while ago. It isn’t happening at the moment. Receiving bad news usually involves worrying about the future and imagining all the worst of our fears.

    David Michie is a follower of Buddhist philosophy and has written many best sellers, like the Dalai Lama’s Cat, aimed at entertaining, teaching, and reducing suffering. He’s done a magnificent job. Many Buddhists will tell you that Buddhism is not a religion but a collection of practices and a philosophy designed to lessen suffering in the world and bring about our fully actualized selves—enlightened if you will.

    In this latest blog, David discusses Disappointment and four Buddhist insights to help us navigate it. You can read the whole article.

    Here are some of the best points:

“Where does disappointment exist: outside us or in our minds? Clearly, it is a psychological thing. We don’t accidentally inhale clouds of disappointment walking down the street. It’s in here, not out there.”

“This moment, here and now, is often unaffected. Our hours, days or weeks are much the same as they were before we got the news. We still do the same things, live the same life. But because of particular news we see the future more darkly.”

    And an oft quoted folk tale that I happen to love.:

“ An old man loses his horse to the wild. Horses are a measure of wealth and when his fellow villagers come around wailing and commiserating, he just says stoically, ‘We’ll see.’

Days later his horse returns – along with a few wild horse friends he picked up along the way. The man is now richer by several horses! The villagers come round delighted for him – if somewhat envious. He just says, ‘We’ll see.’

Attempting to ride one of the wild horses, his son is thrown off and breaks his leg. It is harvest time and everyone is needed to help in the fields. The villagers wring their hands, despondently. ‘We’ll see,’ the old man tells them.

The imperial army comes around recruiting able-bodied young men. Unlike other young men, his son is exempt from dangerous battle.

And so it goes.”

    And

“Rather than entertaining thoughts about what may or may not happen in the future, how about letting go of them? Returning our focus to the here and now – i.e. the same place before we opened the faucet of speculative misery to full bore. There is nothing to be gained by tormenting ourselves with futile, negative cognition, or by opening ourselves up to the media and others who have no interest in our mental wellbeing. We have agency. We are in charge. Let’s remain calmly in the present moment, and practice equanimity: we’ll see.”

Photo by Charles Deluvia on Unsplash

A Quality We Can All Cultivate

 When I was a child, there was a word describing an attribute used in the ‘olden days’ that you never hear anymore—at least how it was used then. Now, that word is used for many descriptions and often separates people. It’s too bad because this attribute would be so appreciated if it were to flow back into use in our society.

            Upon hearing this word, one would imagine a gentle, polite person moving about in a way that made those around them feel comfortable. He or she would smile readily, grasp your hand upon being introduced, and make you feel as though you were the most important person at that moment.

            Yes, when I was young, a person who was described as having class was a person who put others at ease and was never offensive. This is what my father taught me. And he did indeed have class.

            It had nothing to do with someone's income level, the way it is used today.

 A person with class knew how to listen without interrupting. When they entered a room, you could feel their calm energy. They were magnetic, elegant in a way of being. 

To a person with class, it wasn’t about them; they were genuinely interested in those they were meeting, talking to, and working with.They excelled in their working environments, perhaps even achieving more than one without this quality.

Of course, we still have people all around us with class today. However, class doesn’t seem to be valued as it used to. With all of our emphasis on ourselves, expressing our authenticity, bringing our gifts out to shine, and focusing on our own goals, our dreams, and our desires, we’re missing something.

We aren’t mastering an attribute that helps bring out the greatness in those around us. Becoming all that we want to be is accelerated by assistance from others with this quality.

With all the gross name-calling, constant criticism, vulgarities, smears, and sarcasm flooding our media and conversations, how can we mature into a kind and understanding society? One that fosters each other’s growth?

Let’s be classy. 

The Founding Father's Intentions

The Founding Fathers didn’t intend to have a government that attempted to engineer a culture or make laws to change the behavior of the average citizen.

     

     Politicians think we can change our instincts to be prejudiced, not be wary of big shifts in social customs, and believe as they believe by changing laws! 

     Media also vainly tries to engineer cultural behavior. Both political parties do this.

     All this does is make people dig in their heels and stretch deeper into their own views, and we are currently seeing this play out in the extreme. 

      You cannot force people to mature, grow, lose prejudices, or become more open-minded by making more laws, by new policies that punish you if you don’t follow their will, by legislation and court decrees. 

      Each side wants to define what a family looks like. Each side has pity for different groups!

      The only way to improve society is to listen to all viewpoints, respect others, be kind, and not correct or make others' feelings wrong. 

      You see, a people, a society, or a culture grows and flourishes by allowing people to discover a higher way for themselves. 

      Historically, humans have used force to gain security by taking land and resources. Feeling fear of change, we revert back to force. Yet, in the recent history of our evolution, we have been reaching for a better, more equitable way. 

      We all want a peaceful life without suffering. Our intentions are good. We just can’t agree on how to do that. Through the recent millennia, we have had a good start. But we are so impatient.           

      We all have the power to create our own lives however we want. This is called allowing. Looking for a higher way assists our evolution.

            The 'freedom' the Founding Fathers intended.

My Beliefs and Yours, Room for All

 

 Our carts almost crashed in the health food store while we were both looking for items on the shelves. “Oh, sorry!” I smiled.

 The cute, petit, grey-haired woman smiling back. “That’s Ok.”

            I went on my way. Later, in the vegetable section, she began talking to me. Asking me about my blood type, telling me her issues with certain foods.  Then she told me how old she was, and how wonderful she feels, because she eats for her blood type.

            She began jumping up and down to show me what good shape she is in. I mentioned a bit about what I do for my healthy eating, and I teach Ayurveda, etc., but she really wasn’t interested. I even jumped up and down too! 

 Eventually she pulled out a folded, worn pamphlet from her purse, “See here, this is what you should be eating. You can have this information if you want it.” She held it up in front of me.

 I smiled. I told her I’d read the book about that when it came out. I like what I am doing, but thank you.

 She continued her discussion for a little while. It took a few more moments to disengage nicely and move on to my shopping. I was struck by her passion. We are benefited greatly by the passion we have for our chosen path, be it for a certain way of eating, a certain way of caring for ourselves, or our personal faith. Having that passion flooding our body and soul is good for us physically, and for our overall wellbeing.

 As I drove home, I chuckled to myself as I analyzed her mind/body type according to Ayurevda. I’m not saying this is a good idea, with such a short meeting, yet with my years of study, I saw a little imbalance in her strong desire to ‘sell’ me and change me to her method!

 When we are excited about something we have discovered for ourselves, it is so natural to want to share it. We want others to feel the powerful, positive results we’ve experienced. But what if the other person is equally passionate about what they have found?

 Several years ago, a dear friend and I were having lunch. She is very devout in her particular faith. I love her enthusiasm. When she talks about her faith it is beautiful. But this day she was attempting to convince me to change my beliefs to be more in line with hers. She spoke with such reverence I actually got tears in my eyes. 

 I told her, “Seeing your deep faith, your total devotion is breathtaking. I know there is a special place for you in the world to share your beliefs. You have a gift in how you tell of it.

 And you know what? I feel exactly the same about my beliefs. I feel that passion about mine. They move me too.”

And we both sat peacefully in silence.

 

My Intention for this BLOG on the subject of politics

 

I have always been fascinated with philosophy, spirituality, and sociology; to understand ourselves and our world and how we can reduce suffering and increase wellbeing. Wanting this, of course, leads to politics. The organizing power of people can encourage and support wellbeing for everyone.

Politics, for many, also leads to a struggle. There is the pain of sitting on one side of the political viewpoint and hearing the hateful tone and words from the other side. How do we create wellbeing while noticing this?

The Buddhists have an answer. Non-attachment.  Suffering, according the Buddhist tradition, is caused by our thoughts and desires and our attachment to them.  This attachment can be to a reality that is other than what we see, an attachment to an idea, a relationship, or thing other than what it is, etc.

Also, in the yogic philosophy, the practice of balance in all things adds to the likelihood of finding wellbeing -- eliminating the extremes, staying centered, non-violence in thought and deed.

And Jesus said, "But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also."

Since paying attention to politics sent me out of balance and caused me to feel stress, I’ve intended for a few years now to use this as part of my spiritual practice. Here is my intention:

1)      To see all views as valid.

2)      To forge an understanding of all sides

3)      To loosen my attachments to different viewpoints.

This does not mean I don’t carry my own opinions and vote. This just means I don’t feel emotionally off balance.  I have compassion and understanding for all views and am not affected by the vitriol that is thrown around by those who are unconsciously so attached to their own views that they cannot see any others.

My practice has created a shift within me. I sense new energy surrounding commerce and politics. I realize it isn’t obvious out in the world, yet. But it all begins with each one of us.

If you want to commit to this practice too, I invite you to follow my  Blog, The Evolution of Political Consciousness. It doesn’t matter where you are on the political spectrum. When we learn to listen to one another with love and understanding, we will be able to heal the societal landscape.

 

How to solve our most perplexing problems

 

(It feels a bit like Andy Rooney meets Oprah Winfrey)

 

1) Immigration. Let it be known that to stay in the US if you come illegally, you must give 2 years of service to your new country. Have congress create special units, teach them English, give them orders.

a. Give up citizenship to your old country. Dual citizenship isn’t allowed in the US military

b. Don’t want to join the military or do not qualify? Serve in another capacity.

 

Not only does our military need more soldiers and sailors, it would be a disincentive for others who are not serious about being a positive contributor to this country to come in the first place.

 

2). Get the cell phones out of our children’s hands especially while at our schools. There is no good reason to have them while in class and multiple reasons why they should not. It’s ruining their emotional wellbeing, causing dangerous consequences from predators, consistently a distraction, and taking away from nature, physical activity, social engagement and on and on. And teach civics, self-reliance, problem solving and life skills.

 

3) Realize what we are doing to half of the citizens in this country by not listening to them, shoving significant, new cultural changes down their throats, and then criticizing them endlessly. People don’t like change. Isn’t there a better way to foster personal growth and acceptance of diversity? The motives were good, but the methods of correction have stretched too far in one direction. Like an overextended rubber band, it is going to cause an over-reaction in the opposite direction. It has created the Donald Trumps of the world rising to be these people’s heroes and leaders.

 

4) For many years there has been an increasing war on men; in entertainment that includes humiliation, blame for every society failure, no credit for all the innovation, creativity, protection, loyalty, or formation of the most equitable form of government ever devised. From Jackie Gleason to Married with Children to Barbie, men have taken the brunt without complaining. Any human being benefits from recognition. It’s gone solely to the minorities and women for too long. This too is an over-correction. In correcting the inequity of the sexes, we seem to have demonized one and that should be curbed now. We must appreciate men too. What world are we bringing our boys up into?

 

5) Our tax code is incredibly complex, with layers upon layers of new rules piled on top of it with each new administration. Within the rules are conflicting laws, mesmerizing rules of qualifications for deductions, contributions, taxability of cash flows, ridiculously difficult for the average tax payer to understand themselves. Attempts to simplify it always fail. Let’s start with personal income, corporate returns will be more complicated, but should also be addressed next. An example, have simple exemptions for family members, with income tax brackets starting at an income of $35,000, more for a family. Flat income tax of 10% up to 100,000, 15% up to $200,000, 20% for up to $300,000. 30% for all over $400,000. A taxpayer making $125,000 would have an effective bracket of 10.25%. This should leave enough of a living wage with the taxpayers.

 

6) Now onto health care. I am a capitalist, however, as stated in a quote by Vaidya Brahmanand Swamigal, “Wealth earned from medical science is always contaminated as it comes from the suffering of others. Thus, it must be practiced with compassion and humility. Without greed and ego.” This presents a problem. We see, from other countries who have social health care, the downside: long waits for appointments, less motivation on the medical community, innovations lagging, those who can afford it come to countries like ours, which provide state of the art treatment and prompt care.

Yet, between Big Pharma and medical care, money runs the show. Treatments that are effective but bring little profit receive little attention, profits often run the care choices instead of what will bring more wellbeing to the patient. You can’t patent natural products, so those go unseen. We do need a new form of healthcare based on prevention, not waiting until symptoms become debilitating and then treating the symptoms instead of addressing the cause. Perhaps a tiered system from social medicine choices to for profit choices. But it isn’t quite there yet.

 

 

Problems at the border?

 

Place the men and women flooding into our country into the US military. They will be earning a living while serving our country for a chance to become citizens. Our military is in need of recruits. Just may stem the flow too, and perhaps some will stay and help their countries form better governance.

 

And while we are doing this, how about requiring high school graduates to serve their country in some way for at least a year before going on to higher learning? They would select a service of their choice, from the military, to building homes for the homeless, cleaning up blighted and deteriorating city areas, planting neighborhood vegetable gardens in poorer areas, reading to children in day care and elementary schools, helping in nursing homes and so on; the list is endless. Many young people are so focused on themselves, are emotionally depressed or anxious, and habitually on electronics. We can help with that. Getting them away from these devices for a change, and enabling them to see how being of service is rewarding and fulfilling.

Hysteria

 

Hysteria once again has taken hold of every position on the spectrum of political views. The extreme exaggerations, the cry of victimhood over slight offenses, the fear generating statements to scare people toward one side or another, are harming our country, our children and our future.

Seeing the world through the eyes of politics distorts reality.

This does not work. We can solve our problems, but we need to calm down.  

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Let's Be Really Honest

 

Is it out of convenience we determine the sanctity of life? Is it animals we have relationships with that we protect? Not farm animals, we eat them. Endangered animals? Animal's lives aren't sacred? Embryos, fetuses, babies we didn’t want, or convicted criminals; do we deny them a right to life? Why do we decide what life is sacrosanct and what life is expendable? Does anyone really know? I venture to offer we are still a primitive species making small and monstrous mistakes. We need to move carefully and thoughtfully. Not knee-jerk rebellion nor celebration. No, we aren’t evolved enough for that.

 

Photo by Gayatri Malhotra on Unsplash

It Isn’t Left or Right, Its Tribalism

 

Over our country’s history the political parties have shifted, and sometimes moved ideologically in a big way.  Hard core Republicans and Democrats don’t want to hear this, but in today’s political climate, as probably we always were, we are much more tribal.

            It is solidly in our DNA to gravitate toward those we identify with. Those who make us feel our opinions and beliefs are right. Once we ‘find’ our tribe we are susceptible to the shifting opinions of that tribe. Nothing stays the same in real life. Each political party has members who represent various factions of ideology.

            What is going on is much more than polarization. There aren’t just two ‘sides’; there are multiple tribes. And once a person is steeped in the identity of a certain tribe, they are susceptible to the shifting tides of it. Distrust the government, there are several tribes who adhere to that. Distrust rich people? Distrust Wall Street? Suspicious of environmental conservation projects? Look down on rural communities? Urban communities? Suspicious of efforts toward racial justice? Distrusting of government shifting the material to be taught to our children?

            Each tribe holds multiple beliefs, and as one gravitates to one tribe because they believe in prudent fiscal spending, for instance, they become susceptible to the other beliefs within this group; perhaps the opinion that all lower income people want the government to give them more free money and services.

            A tribe who doesn’t trust the government can easily extend this suspicion to the medical community, a similar big power group. A tribe who believes wealthy people are untrustworthy may eventually add the opinion that there is a sinister group of wealthy people trying to take over the whole planet for themselves.  

            The biggest take away from this situation is to understand how we are influenced by those we listen to and hang around. To be insightful as to how and why we think a certain way about a topic. To question our own beliefs. To not just buy in to one political party in its entirety. Because each is made up of multiple tribes.